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A Peeing Machine

A peeing machine, a peeing machine That's what I've now become About every two hours like clockwork It's off to the toity I run While making a speech at a banquet Right smack dab in the middle That old biological urge rears its head And off I go for a piddle Considered installing a porta-pottie In every room of my house It sure would make a whole lot of sense Especially when I get soused It certainly becomes a hairy affair When I can't undo my buckle So I just enjoy the cozy warm feeling Stand and piddle and chuckle A peeing machine, a peeing machine That's what I've now become! © Jack Ellison 2012

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Laura Breidenthal

Date: 12/17/2022 9:26:00 PM

The call to nature can often be an inconvenience. Super funny one. Always, Laura

Donna Jones

Date: 1/22/2013 9:56:00 PM

Don't know what you guys have to complain about... at least you don't have to get half undressed to go like we women HAHAHA funny one. Jack

Jack Ellison
Date: 1/23/2013 6:19:00 AM

I have this mental picture... LOL

Russell Sivey

Date: 1/13/2013 4:11:00 PM

I'm starting to get to that point when I've got to go more often my friend! Is there any remedy to the situation or must we suffer the frequent trips to the bathroom?! As for your hilarious write, I just loved reading this funny adventure here Jack! What a fantastic piece, Great Work!!

Jack Ellison
Date: 1/13/2013 4:30:00 PM

Sorry to tell you, my friend, it's only going to get worse! There's no hope for you now! LOL Thanks again Russell!

Kash Poet

Date: 1/13/2013 10:05:00 AM

Hahaha..enjoyed this humorous poem very much Jack.It Reminds me Andrea's poem--Got to go,got to go...

Jack Ellison
Date: 1/13/2013 10:07:00 AM

As we age, it's almost certain we'll be afflicted! LOL Happy it gave you a chuckle, my friend! Cheers!

Carol Eastman

Date: 1/13/2013 9:37:00 AM

AHHH! I have your answer... Diapers... They work every time! You can depend on them... LOL (I couldn't resist... The Trolls made me do it...) Every where I go the first thing I look for is the closest potty... Just in case!

Jack Ellison
Date: 1/13/2013 10:00:00 AM

"You can... DEPEND... on them!" Are you being paid by P&G to promote their products! LOL

Terry O'Leary

Date: 1/13/2013 8:41:00 AM

Very funny, Jack, I sujppose... have you ever tried using a clothespin? .............................................................................................................. oh, sorry about the delay, just had to take a timely pee... Terry

Jack Ellison
Date: 1/13/2013 9:05:00 AM

I can hear that satisfying sigh of relief! One of the great joys of life! CLOTHESPIN??? I don't think so... ouch! LOL

Reggae Magnet

Date: 1/13/2013 7:32:00 AM

Love it, good for a laugh, comedy never to be forgotten to keep away the stress. thanks for sharing.

Jack Ellison
Date: 1/13/2013 8:19:00 AM

Comedy? You've come to the right place! Life is just one big chuckle! LOL Come again... Jack

Toquyen Harrell

Date: 1/13/2013 7:17:00 AM

Haha, too funny, dear Jack! I heard a lot of people have that problem but I didn't quite believe it. I guess not. I did not know it's that severe -every two hours? It's crazy! Installing a bathroom in every room wouldn't hurt. I was just wondering "does every senior have that problem?". Have a great Sunday :)

Jack Ellison
Date: 1/13/2013 8:17:00 AM

Got a chuckle out of Robert's comment! LOL "Every two hours"? Sometimes less! See what you've got ahead of you! LOL

Reggae Magnet
Date: 1/13/2013 7:33:00 AM

I gues we men have an advantage to reach the deposit point since it has a longer way to travel.lol