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Last-Minute Autumn

dodoitsu series (rhymed) Winter is taking the reins speeding past days of autumn - Jack Frost smears the windowpanes forefingers and thumb. You who have no house to own, too proud to seek charity, you choose your path all alone that’s a guarantee. Your attic room, where risks run rowdy as the eastern winds, barren refuge while you shun warmer help from friends. Churches serve a daily meal without impugning censure, Would a shelter prove to shield Christian adventure? God casts no smears. You must know you are short more than your needs. God produces once you show you will plant His seeds. Twixt four fingers and your thumb winnow pangs of laziness. Earn warm lodging ere autumn’s freeze spawns haziness. for Elly Wouterse's contest 3 Proverbs and a Quote For my series of didactic "germane" dodoitsu, I chose three German proverbs, being influenced much in my life by my German grandmother. -A poor person isn't he who has little, but he who needs a lot. --Charity sees the need not the cause. ---God gives, but man must open his hand. My quote from an international celebrity is from German poet, Rainer Maria Rilke - “Whoever has no house now, will never have one. Whoever is alone will stay alone,” is from his poem, “Autumn Day”, translated by Stephen Mitchell. https://audiopoetry.wordpress.com/category/poet/rainer-maria-rilke/ For word play: “the four fingers and your thumb”, and “winnow pangs” of verse 5(6) play off of “Jack Frost’s forefingers and thumb” and "window panes" of verse 1. Word with two meanings: Verse 1 – smear – v. to wipe or daub Verse 4 (5) – smear – n. a slur or insult double meaning proverb A poor person isn't he who has little, but he who needs a lot. poor person can mean poverty-stricken or a poor person can be incompetent, inept I used the normal 7, 7, 7, 5 syllable pattern of a dodoitsu but rhymed it ABAB. I really needed 24 lines to complete my thoughts, but I dutifully cut it back to 20 lines, adding it back in italics after contest was judged. Expanding on Rilke’s “Autumn Day” title, I took a different turn from his prayerful, more positive piece.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2014




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Date: 10/3/2014 11:28:00 PM
I won't be doing one, sorry! It did not wow me. And it looked very difficult. Anyway, I sure hope that you saw my soupmail. Maybe I should go ahead and close out the contest now instead of later! Hope you are doing fine these days.
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Date: 9/30/2014 7:16:00 PM
oh my gosh, I think you did it!! You took the challenge and NAILED it. It sure looks that way. Wow, what an ambitious undertaking. I applaud you because you also ended up with a brilliant write!!
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Date: 10/2/2014 7:26:00 AM
Thank you, Andrea, it was a challenge but enjoyable still. Elly has presented a well-constructed contest. I appreciate your kind words; you are such an encourager. Can't wait to view your entry.

Book: Reflection on the Important Things