A Final Thought
It seems your fascination with me has run its course.
I can't help but to be sad when I think that's all it was.
My feelings are so real and so strong and
so wrong.
I have tried to be honest but honesty has led to discomfort for you and
sorrow for me.
I treasure each moment we have spent together, each touch each hug.
There was deepness there for me that I know you never felt.
You could never feel.
Foolish me.
I miss your thoughts in the notes you used to share, your calls.
I wish I could talk to you but I no longer know what to say.
Every word seems inappropriate, somehow lacking.
I long for your company but
our time together, I fear, will be but fleeting moments.
A passing, "Hi," a flashing glance.
Now, my old companion has again returned.
The only one I can truly count on,
the only one who will never forsake me,
who will never lie to me.
The one who will be there even when I don't want him,
mostly when I don't want him.
Welcome back my demon of darkness.
Welcome back you soulless devil.
Welcome back my inevitable fate,
welcome back
Loneliness.
Please, don't be sad for me.
I wish only happiness for you, for your smile warms my heart.
It is, as I have often said, who I am.
The only path my life can take.
If circumstances were different
then maybe you could have seen me in a brighter light.
Instead you are but a dream, a fantasy that I live,
always just fantasies.
Never lose that twinkle in your eye.
Never stop singing.
Oh how I wanted to sing my song for you,
but it would have been wrong, inappropriate.
The words left unsaid to haunt me when you're gone,
to linger in my mind, to be sang softly to myself
again and again.
Alone to harmonize with my unwelcome companion.
01-20-17
Copyright © James Inman | Year Posted 2017
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