A Cemetery's Condo

Every morning, an overview of death’s tombstones is perched outside my window taunting and haunting me with the scent of a hollow kiss. The worst case is not this thing called death but the abuse of love that my parents fill into my bruised soul, a child I am no more but I can still remember the time I cried as one and cried and cried until the face of a frustrated mother came to ease my pain, and her own unease mind. Disorder clouded my mind but as a child I did not fully understand what these emotions where, for is a mother not there to ease her Childs pains, and is a mother not there also to ease her children’s emotional pains. I can vouch that my physical pain was eased but spiritually my emotions ran wild like a pack of wolfs searching for the hunter who wielded with him the ax grief. I respect my parents like any child should, and I disobey them like any child shouldn’t, but what I feel towards them is different than disobedient and anger. It feels as if loath itself is creeping up into my heart then into my head like the words of a woman who clouds all sense of reasoning. I laugh but I cannot truly feel happy even when they do try to appease me in the way I want to be appeased or so they do think for we never truly speak. I love them; I loathe them, for I am an outcast even amongst outcasts for they say they know pain but not all pain is physical for trauma has kissed and slept inside my heart but has it done the same in theirs also. I shall never know for trauma has chained us into the comfort of its hellish bed and sealed our lips like everything that is true in life. I am loath now, I am pain now, I am evil incarnate, but I am an evil whose pain and loath seek nothing but the comfort of peace. Every morning I wake, and an overview of death’s tombstones is perched outside my window taunting and haunting me with the scent of a hollow kiss and I wonder when is the day that I will fall prey under the temptation of its kiss. Death is literally around the corner for I live by a cemetery’s condo. * Just a story but i have put SOME of my feelings and my own life experience in there.