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Metaphor Haiku Poems - PoetrySoup

Poem Details | by Debbie Guzzi
Categories: nature,

haiku lesson

*not a tradition haiku because it is subjective it is my judgement you are told to see the vine strangling the maple something a person would do, further you are told my my imagining that the vine is seeking revenge - so this is more Free Verse than haiku

a bittersweet vine
strangles the dormant maple
ribbon of revenge

* haiku - objective, factual with a season, with 2 parts and implied metaphor

a bittersweet vine
twines about the maple tree --
swollen knuckles ache

I am here, I see the vine, I show you the vine, I see my hand at the same time, now you SEE the relationship, you FEEL, I don't tell you what to feel. The change occurs in where my eyes have fallen first up & out and then down to my hands

Poem Details | by Charlotte Puddifoot
Categories: on writing and words,sati

haiku fanatics

haiku fanatics stifling creativity laying down the law inflexible minds smothering self-expression toeing language lines simile is out personification too metaphor's a crime icicles are fine as long as they aren't crystal and they mustn't rhyme ripping haiku rules rebel verse must be contained I should be ashamed! wonder if Basho stuck rigidly to the rules observed tradition? haiku from the heart give metaphor wings to soar let the words fly free oops I do believe this is strictly senryu not haiku at all!
After reading all sides of the haiku debate about how it should be written and indeed beyond haiku and into the writing of poetry in general, I really only have this to say: life is not perfect and if art imitates life it stands to reason that poetry cannot be perfect either. I think the writing of poetry suffers from perfectionism and I find that the more I read about the rights and wrongs of writing, this technique and that technique, this form and that form, the more of an inhibitory effect it has upon my work. Life is constantly changing and evolving and therefore poetry should do the same. What is being published today at the cutting edge is mainly modern haiku and free verse with a definite shift towards more rawness and edginess and I welcome that. Life is not perfect and has very little rhyme or reason, so how can it possibly be captured in neat little stanzas and strict syllable counts? And so when writing haiku I will write my own version of it, what personally pleases me and what I'd like to read myself - I've ripped up my rule book. :-)

Poem Details | by Roy Jerden
Categories: nature,


white wigwam winter
Gitche Gumee waters wash --
cerulean blue

dry Dreamtime summer
Uluru in distance dawns --
crepuscular red

May 9, 2014

*These haikus are about creation myths, January being a metaphor
for beginnings. Gitche Gumee is the Native American name for Lake Superior, the largest and coldest of the North American Great Lakes. 
It is a reference to the Song of Hiawatha, by Longfellow. 
Uluru is the Aboriginal name for Ayers Rock, the sandstone massif 
in the center of Australia. Dreamtime, in the Aboriginal creation myth, 
is a place beyond time and space in which the past, present, and 
future exist wholly as one. As these two places are in different hemispheres, it is Winter in one and Summer in the other.
The two haikus are intended to contrast opposites, hot/cold, wet/dry,
winter/summer, blue/red (opposite ends of visible spectrum)

Poem Details | by Cyndi MacMillan
Categories: children,family,mother,sw

Contemporary haiku

modest black, minding

such teeny, Hawaiian prints

in the tot pool

*What I experienced today, swimming with my girl... the juxtaposition of all these mom in simple, black sheaths watching and chasing after toddlers and preschoolers in these super bright swimsuits... made me smile. 

The metaphor is, obviously, intentional, and WELCOME with some mags which I''ll soon be submitting haiku.  

QUESTION: Did I capture my intention. Did you SEE what I was talking about in the haiku or did you only go AHA once you read this notation? THANKS FOR ANY COMMENTS! xox

Poem Details | by Cyndi MacMillan
Categories: child,seasons,metaphor,

haiku 1

as soft as her breath

large snowflakes upon

pink bunting

*my first attempt at a haiku without verbs

**Yes, it is subjective and does contain metaphor :)

Poem Details | by Doris Culverhouse
Categories: native american,seasons


Bitter sweet berry
Native peoples loss

Bloom like a crane-fowl
Shortened name over time.

Given by native
People, friends, whose strange gods set
Their end destiny

Poem Details | by Leon Enriquez
Categories: blessing,


Cool breezy swirl
Pregnant with rain;
Abrupt metaphor

Man walking dog
Faces so alike;
Harmonic motion

News flash
Warring fractions;
Lose-lose situation

Grass verge flowers
Unceremonious strands;
Beauty unnoticed

Old rubber tree
Nature's monument;
Wears a regal countenance

Sky of grey-black
Random lightning flash;
Nature re-decorating

Feline chorus 
Evening entertainment;
Midnight madness

Easy breezy
Zephyrs swirl and dance;
Cold evening gathers

Between sad and bad
Choose to be glad;
Weather grim change 

Leon Enriquez
14 August 2014