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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required Bugger 17th July 2015 Last night my missus gave me some oysters for tea Was I in for a night of rip snorting whoopee? I showered and shaved trying to smell like a stud Her half dozen oysters must have all of been duds. Things were desperate so I engaged in foreplay What old men do when they want a roll in the hay I groveled I pleaded, even whined like a dog But for all of my efforts all I got was a snog. So should she ever give me a little blue pill I now know it sure won’t be for an evening of thrill. Her response So you’re disappointed That all you got was just a snog How about make an effort Stop smelling like grog I don’t care for begging, And sexual wee stirrings Have a shave and a shower, That'll start me concurring. Now take your hand off my breast, Just help me cook the kids tea Grab the vacuum, do the house, That’ll be enough foreplay for me Hang out the washing, Then feed the pets. Do homework with the kids Please now go make the beds, Scrub all the pots, Make sure you do the lids Thank you my dear, Your help was just great, It's nice just not to nag What! What do you mean? You’re too tired for a shag? 28th September Silent One's Competition In response to my first poem
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