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Circumstantial Evidence

Written by: Ellis Parker Butler | Biography
 She does not mind a good cigar
 (The kind, that is, I smoke);
She thinks all men quite stupid are,
 (But laughs whene’er I joke).

She says she does not care for verse
 (But praises all I write);
She says that punning is a curse,
 (But then mine are so bright!)

She does not like a big moustache
 (You see that mine is small);
She hates a man with too much “dash,”
 (I scarcely dash at all!)

She simply dotes on hazel eyes
 (And mine, you note, are that);
She likes a man of portly size;
 (Gad! I am getting fat!)

She says champagne is made to drink;
 (In this we quite agree!)
And all these symptoms make me think
 Sweet Kate’s in love with me.