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mirroring
some days,
i wish i liked my reflection.
i wish that i didn't hesitate when saying my name,
afraid of that a look will make me take it back.
i wish i my name didn't feel like an alias,
that i didn't feel like a alien.
i wish i didn't choose their convenience
over my identity,
my truth,
me.
because now,
i look in the mirror and see
a stranger,
a mutation of mistakes.
in my mind
i am him,
but my eyes see a girl,
i see a woman lost
in too many addictions,
doomed to perish
in her own actions,
because she could never see
who she could be,
them,
him,
her.
she didn't have to be her.
she could change,
but life could only offer
a cage around her heart,
and tape around her chest.
her.
I don't want
to
be
her
anymore.
i want more than this.
it's hard to know
that who you are is of
no importance,
not even to those you love.
some days,
i wish i liked my reflection,
but i fear i would rather die
than love myself.
Copyright ©
Oliver Chu
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